Choice of Words
by snowflake98
Summary: Deidara accidentally lets something slip. Be careful what you say, because everything matters. SasoDei
1. Bad

Deidara had a Secret.

His Secret was everything. It meant the world to him.

He would protect It with his life, and no one else would ever know.

Especially not Sasori.

Deidara guarded the Secret carefully. Not of trace of It was ever shown.

Then one day, It slipped.

It was an accident. Deidara had gotten caught up in laughing, had forgotten himself, his whole world was crashing now-

There was no way to stop the words from tumbling out.

"Un, I love you, Sasori."

Deidara's hands clamped over his mouth.

Sasori didn't notice, he couldn't have noticed, it was so quiet, he hadn't heard-

But Sasori turned his head to face Deidara,

and he smiled and laughed innocently.

"Bad choice of words, right?"

Deidara died inside.

His world had crashed, because of four words that had managed to escape.

His Secret was no longer precious or protected,

just small, lost, and insignificant in Sasori's hands.

Sasori didn't love him back.

But Deidara put on a pretty little smile for Sasori,

and then faced away from him.

"Yes, bad choice of words, un."

* * *

Sasori thought He was cute.

He liked Him, liked Him a lot.

It was the first time Sasori had ever felt anything, in a long time,

and he felt that Deidara was The One.

The day that Deidara Told him, he was scared.

He was scared to be hurt again, to be rejected, to miss someone.

He knew Deidara didn't love him.

It was an innocent mistake.

So, he acted like he didn't care,

but the words were killing him,

teasing him with an unattainable prize.

Teasing him, like they always did.

One day, Deidara would really love him.

"Yeah, I thought so."


	2. Only

Deidara isn't good at Acting.

He thinks that this must be so obvious, especially around Sasori.

He has to Act the most around Sasori.

Deidara has to Act like he doesn't love Sasori.

He has to Act like his Heart isn't breaking from how Sasori Reacted.

He isn't good at Acting, he thinks.

He doesn't Understand why Sasori doesn't Say something about it.

Sasori must know, he reasons, because Deidara isn't good at Acting.

Deidara wants to Understand Sasori.

One day, he Asks Sasori.

"What do you see when you look at me, un?"

He decides on this Question because he thinks it is subtle.

He needs it to be subtle so he doesn't set himself up for failure.

Deidara has had enough of that, already.

He watches Sasori intently as Sasori's head turns once more towards Deidara.

Sasori smiles and laughs, as he did days before.

"I think you're beautiful."

Deidara does a double take.

He did not want this Question to yield a complicated answer.

He needs closure on this subject,

but at the same time he doesn't want it.

Deidara doesn't want to know if Sasori doesn't like him.

He wants to stay safe, in his world where there is always a chance for him,

and always a place for him in Sasori's life.

Deidara sighs. He doesn't want to Act anymore.

He isn't good at Acting.

He takes a deep breath and a Risk at the same time.

"Un, Sasori. What do you mean by that?

* * *

Sasori loves the way He Smiles.

This is just another Feeling He can elicit from Sasori, he knows.

He doesn't think that Feeling things is all that bad anymore.

He kind of likes this.

When Deidara wants an Answer from him,

he decides to tell the straight truth,

simply because he loves the way Deidara makes him Feel.

He hopes that Deidara will react well,

but Deidara seems to be Confused.

Sasori wants Things to be Clear.

He smiles again.

He wishes for Deidara to Feel the same way about Sasori's smile as he does about His.

"I mean I love you,"

he Answers, loud and Clear,

because for him,

this is the only choice of words.


	3. Best

Deidara's never been so Happy.

He never wants to leave this Moment in time,

with Sasori next to him,

staring into his hazy chocolate coloured Eyes,

the cool bed sheet pooling around his waist.

He wants to stay here.

Sasori grabs Deidara's hand in his own,

and pulls Deidara close to him.

Deidara Squeaks in protest,

but Sasori only leans in to kiss him on the cheek.

Then Sasori gets up,

without a word,

and starts to dress.

He looks over his shoulder to see his lover.

"Sorry, Dei. Gotta go."

Deidara frowns at him.

He wants to tell Sasori to stay,

but even he knows his Danna won't listen.

Deidara watches from the bed with sad Eyes.

Just when Deidara is about to turn away,

Sasori Speaks up.

"The others will get suspicious if we Act too friendly towards each other. Let's not."

Deidara feels an Ache in his heart.

He doesn't Understand why Sasori wouldn't want everyone to Know.

Deidara would want to share his Happiness with the world.

Is Sasori Ashamed of him?

Deidara shakes his head to himself.

No, Sasori loves me, he says.

He said it himself a just a little while ago.

He promised me it was True.

Sasori zips up his jeans,

and as he passes through the doorway he stops and casts a meaningful look at Deidara.

He puts a finger to his lips. Shh.

Deidara sits up, his Eyes burning with tears, and cries out.

"You regret it, don't you?"

* * *

Sasori hates the way Deidara Frowns.

He thought he liked the way Deidara made him Feel,

but from what he gathers,

not all Feelings are good.

He numbly notes that this Feeling must be 'Guilt.'

Sasori is so Scared of letting anyone Know about them,

that he is willing to Stifle himself,

and Deidara,

around the other Akatsuki.

He wishes he had the Guts to tell them.

And because of this, Deidara is once again Confused about him.

Sasori wonders how Deidara can never Understand his Motives.

It must be a blonde Thing, he thinks darkly.

He shakes his head towards Deidara, full of Guilt.

When he gets to his room, Sasori knows, he'll Feel even more Guilty about this

"No, Dei,"

he says,

"That was the best choice I've ever made."

Deidara Frowns at him as he walks away.

**Thanks for sticking with me all this way, everboddy! :D There's a few more chapters to be posted, but I always try to end it so that it won't seem unfinished if I decide to stop working on it. Thanks again! And I don't mean to be a review whore but...**

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	4. My

Deidara has a Plan.

Sasori must think he is so Blonde, to think that Deidara won't get what he Wants!

Deidara will get Sasori to love him in Public if it the last thing he does.

Ever since they got together, all Sasori will do in Public is sneak Glances at him.

That's not enough for Deidara.

He Wants Sasori to scream it to the world.

Deidara Wants to be able to scream it, too.

It's so hard for him to just Stifle himself around others,

but Sasori seems to not be bothered by it.

It hurts,

that Sasori won't express his love in front of them.

Deidara looks up from his sculpture and Smiles as Sasori walks in the room.

"Hey, Danna! How 'bout a Kiss?"

Sasori's cheeks take on a pink tinge.

He mutters a response and crosses the room to touch his lips to Deidara's.

Deidara Smiles brighter and hugs his Danna.

He must admit, he is proud of Sasori.

They have made much progress since they confessed.

Deidara knows how hard it is for Sasori to show affection,

and that makes it an even bigger Victory.

Sasori takes Deidara's Hand,

and Kisses him again,

this time passionately.

A voice interrupts them.

"Dinner's ready, Lover Boys."

Deidara's head flicks towards the wide open Door.

Itachi meets his eyes before turning around and moving on.

Deidara blushes.

Sasori puts his hand over his mouth.

He curses.

Deidara apologizes, then shyly walks to the Door and holds his Hand out for Sasori.

He shakes off his blush.

"Dinner. Shall we?"

* * *

Sasori cannot Believe what just happened.

He was Careless, he left the door open, he Kissed Deidara...

Gods, how Embarrassing.

He can't even meet Itachi's eyes!

He looks up to Deidara.

Deidara's staring down at his food.

He can't look Deidara in the eye, either.

After dinner, all he can do is lay on his bed.

And Think.

About him.

About Deidara.

About him _and _Deidara.

Sasori sits up and Sighs.

Minutes later, he is walking through Deidara's Door,

leaving it wide open,

and Kissing him.

Again.

Sasori smirks and watches as Deidara slowly looks up at him,

taken by surprise,

a bright red blush spread across his features.

Deidara mutters to him to close the Door first.

Sasori shakes his head.

"No, Dei."

He laughs as Deidara's face brightens.

"I want them to know that this,

that you,

are the choice I made."

Sasori looks behind him, to see Itachi, Kisame, and Hidan.

He Smiles and closes the Door.

* * *

**Well, one more to go! Hehe. In advance, I apologize for any differences between my plotline and the actual Naruto, but hey. It's a fan _fic. _****As in fiction. Thanks for everything! :DDDD**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE YOUS ALL!**


	5. Your

Deidara's Hands are cold and clammy.

Sasori whispers to him as Tears fall down his face.

They never seem to Stop.

Itachi. He's gone. Dead. Cold and clammy.

Just like Sasori's hand in his.

Sasori tightens his hold,

but Deidara only Cries harder.

He feels a tug on his shirt and lets himself be led Away by Sasori.

Deidara has never been able to handle funerals.

Even with Sasori nearby, he feels like he is drowning in Tears.

He Cries until his sobs die into sniffles.

His face securely nuzzled into Sasori's neck, he starts to take deep breaths.

Eventually he is able to completely Stop Crying.

He pushes back from Sasori's chest and breathes in again.

"I think... I'm okay,"

he whispers.

Sasori nods and allows Deidara to get himself together.

Deidara looks up at the others and the table that is between them.

There is a picture of Itachi on it.

As each of them says his piece for Itachi, Deidara contemplates what Itachi has done for him.

Ah. That's right.

"Itachi helped me realize how much I love you."

Deidara nods to Sasori's words. He did.

If Itachi hadn't walked in on them, they would probably still be a secret.

Still be hiding behind closed doors.

As the group begins their walk back to the headquarters, Deidara and Sasori trail behind them.

They get there just as it starts to rain.

Deidara gasps as he is suddenly thrown on his Danna's bed.

His legs hit his shoulders.

He Bites his lip.

Sasori Bites his ear.

Deidara melts into the Feelings.

"Nnnn... don't Stop, Sasori Danna."

* * *

Sasori Feels bad for taking advantage of Deidara at a time like this,

but it was Necessary.

He knows, er, hopes, that Deidara will Feel better afterwards.

He might even say he wanted it.

Until then, it is still taking advantage of him.

Sasori sighs in contentment and collapses next to Deidara.

Deidara starts to Cry again.

Sasori holds him until he finally falls asleep, his head on Sasori's chest.

The next day comes and passes.

The day after that.

After that.

Sasori wonders when Deidara decided it.

He wasn't expecting him to say It, even is he knew Deidara wanted It.

But Deidara came up to him and out of the blue, announced It.

"Let's leave the Akatsuki."

It takes him by surprise.

He knows Deidara never wanted to be in, but...

Sasori stands there awkwardly. The Akatsuki is his home.

The Akatsuki is his family.

Deidara is his true love.

He puts on a smile, then looks at the ground.

"Whatever you want, Dei. It's your choice."

* * *

**K. Changed my mind! There will be one more chapter after this. One more. Then I'm done. K? Yeah. Ok! **

**Please REVIEW! and remember- I LOVE YOU ALL! :)**


	6. Right

Deidara Pauses for a moment.

Good, Sasori is still Following him.

He slips the remainder of his clay into his pocket.

He was going to count on Sasori for this, since he is not so Good at stealth,

but Sasori just seems to want to Follow, not lead.

That's fine with him.

He can do this on his own.

Three rooms to pass... Hidan's, Kisame's, Itachi's...

Itachi.

Deidara frowns at Itachi's old door.

He shakes his head. There's too much death around here.

Sasori slinks up to him, and Deidara swallows back his feelings.

That's why we're leaving, he tells himself.

Itachi is why.

They move around the corner... past Hidan and Kisame's rooms.

Just the kitchen left. Step lightly.

Deidara looks up when he sees that the light in the kitchen is on.

He turns around, placing his hands on Sasori's chest,

and opens his mouth to whisper.

"Deidara. Sasori. You can come into the kitchen now, if you'd like."

Deidara freezes. It's Pein.

His hands start to dig into his pockets for clay, but Sasori grabs his hand.

He pouts. Sasori pulls him into the kitchen, where he can see Pein and Kisame at the table.

Pein kicks out two chairs, then motions to them.

Deidara sits, but only because he knows he is caught.

Sasori sits, because he knows he has been saved. By his Family.

There is silence.

Deidara watches as Pein sips what he thinks to be tea.

Silence. He should blow the place up, that would show them silence.

It's too quiet. Someone speak!

Pein flashes his eyes around the table.

"How are you coping, Deidara."

Deidara wants to say fine. Fine, fine, perfectly alright, can I go now, sir,

but he doesn't. He collapses into tears, again,

and into Sasori's arms.

Sasori strokes his hair.

"He's doing fine,"

he tells Pein. Pein hums in response.

Sasori slowly slips the backpack off of Deidara's shoulders and lays it on the floor.

Deidara pushes himself off of Sasori.

He brushes his bangs into his eyes and stares down at the table.

Pein pushes his chair back from the table to set his glass on the counter.

Silence.

Pein starts to talk with his back still turned.

"You know. If you ever need to talk, we're there for you."

Deidara feels a hand on his back and hears a sniffle from Kisame's direction.

"Don't w-worry. W-we got your b-back, Deidara."

* * *

Sasori loves them.

Sasori loves them all.

His Deidara. His Family.

His best friends.

Sasori Feels Deidara slipping his hand into his.

He would love to ravish Deidara right there, but his pride won't let him make such a scene.

Deidara yawns.

"Go to bed, Dei, I'll be right there."

Deidara nods and gets up sleepily from the table, bringing the backpack with him.

Sasori shoots him a look that he returns.

He turns to look at Pein and Kisame.

"Thanks, guys."

"No prob, 'Sori."

Pein looks at Deidara's retreating form.

Sasori shakes his head.

"We won't have any more problems, Leader."

He nods.

Sasori looks around, then stands up.

"Night, guys."

He trudges down the hall to his room.

He finds Deidara laying with his face in the pillows.

Sasori slips in beside him.

Deidara groans.

"You have so many people you can turn to,"

he says. "I only have you, un."

Sasori pulls the sheet up to his lover's shoulders.

"It's called my Family, Dei. You're part of it."

He kisses Deidara's cheek.

Deidara blushes.

"We'll be together for a long time, Dei. We'll make all the right choices."

"We will," Deidara mumbles.

Sasori hugs Deidara close to him.

"Good, then."

Sasori and Deidara sleep facing each other,

Sasori loosely holding the other's hand.

They dream of all the choices they've yet to make.

* * *

**I'm done. I'm done? Yup! :) Review please!**


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